I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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