every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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