She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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