YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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