Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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