he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
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his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
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His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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