I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Randomize