If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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