I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
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So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
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Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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