he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just shotgunned beers for America
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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