put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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