She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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