He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize