I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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