The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
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