That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize