Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize