I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
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Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize