Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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