There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
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I will be naked everywhere
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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