I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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