guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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