We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
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you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
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It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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