We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize