My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize