I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize