The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize