There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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