just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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