Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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