i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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