the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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