no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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