I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize