I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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