she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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