There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
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What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
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When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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