You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Hippo gnu deer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize