What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Are my feet made of real feet?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize