Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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