just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Randomize