I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
as a side note pls kill me
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize