i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
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I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
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While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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