how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
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we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
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I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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