yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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