it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
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