Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
What happened to fro yo and sex?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize