thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize