Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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