im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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